You know the moment I am describing. It is Sunday afternoon, sermon is done, congregation has gone home. You pick up your Bible to read something for yourself and realize you cannot remember the last time you did that.
Not for a study. Not for a series. For you.
Most pastors I know went through a season early in ministry when their personal devotional life was rich and real. There was a genuine encounter with Scripture that was not for production. Then, slowly and subtly, without a moment you could point to and name, that life started to belong to other people.
You still open the Bible constantly. That is the tricky part. You open it for sermon prep, for counseling sessions, for Bible studies. You are immersed in Scripture professionally. Somehow that immersion has become a substitute for the personal encounter that used to feed you.
You Are Not a Hypocrite
Let me say something before you spiral into self-judgment. You are not a hypocrite for being in this position. A hypocrite knows the truth and intentionally does the opposite. What has happened to most pastors in this space is something different: the professional use of Scripture slowly expanded to fill all the space where personal use used to live, and nobody warned you that would happen.
You are not a fraud. You are exhausted. The lines got blurred because ministry is an always-on occupation and your spiritual formation became part of your job description.
That is still a problem worth addressing. It is a different kind of problem than hypocrisy.
Mark 1:35
Here is the verse that stops me every time I read it. “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”
Jesus was busy. Read what came before that verse. He had healed people all evening, cast out demons, dealt with crowds pressing in on him. The disciples showed up the next morning and said everyone is looking for you.
He had already been up before the sun, alone, with His Father. Not to prepare a sermon. Not to plan the day. Just to be with God.
Luke 5:16 says Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Often. Not once or twice. It was a regular practice in the middle of a demanding ministry life.
I am not trying to add guilt to the pile. I am saying there is something worth noticing in the fact that the Son of God made a habit of slipping away from the demands of ministry to be present to God apart from what anyone else needed from him.
Two Things That Actually Work
I know you have read about morning routines and lectio divina and contemplative prayer practices. I am not going to give you another program.
Here are two small things I have seen work for busy pastors.
First, read something in a different translation than the one you preach from. That change alone creates some separation between the professional and personal use of Scripture. It is harder to slip into commentary mode when the text looks different.
Second, give yourself permission to read without a goal. No notes. No application list. No sermon topic forming in the back of your brain. Just the text and a posture of receiving. Some days that lasts five minutes. That is fine.
The goal is not a perfect devotional life. The goal is staying connected to the God you are talking about every week.
What Is Actually at Stake
If your soul has been running on professional spirituality for a while, When a Pastor’s Soul Goes Unattended is worth reading slowly. And Who Is Actually Speaking Into Your Soul will ask some honest questions worth sitting with.
The congregation does not need you to have it all figured out. They need you to be genuinely tethered to the God you are introducing them to. That tether starts with time alone with Him that is not for anyone’s benefit except yours.
Your Bible is not just a ministry tool. It is also a letter from the God who knows you.
And if the lines between professional and personal faith have been blurred for so long you are not sure how to find them again, that is worth bringing to someone who understands the specific terrain of pastoral life. You should not have to untangle it alone.
If you have been ministering from an empty well for a while and are not sure how to find your way back, I would love to have that conversation with you. Your first call is free and there is no agenda except honesty. Book it here.
